There were some … interesting choices this year.
1. MOST PREDICTABLY NOT SOMETHING WE LOVE: BEYONCÉ
This may be the first time in history that we’ve wondered if a person mixed up the VMAs and the Met Gala. Don’t get us wrong — if anyone is going to make the proverbial lemonade out of a dress that looks like a Muppet Show wedding sketch, it’s Beyoncé. And honestly, maybe we should thank her for teaching us a new fashion rule of thumb that we’d never even considered before: Avoid dresses that make your crotch look baggy.
2. BIGGEST BELLY LAUGH: RITA ORA
We are of the belief that Lady Gaga’s absence caused some people to squeal, “TIME TO POUNCE.”
3. HIGHEST DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY: THE FINAL FIVE (MINUS ONE)
We’re always sympathetic to the gymnasts who become overnight sensations after the Olympics: Usually, when they dress for a global audience, they only have to pop on leotards or warm-up pants. A red carpet is a whole different story, especially when you’re hella petite — Simone Biles is all of 4-foot-9. Major props to prom queen Sherri Hill for making them look like the queens they are. And major hugs to Gabby Douglas, who at press time was resting comfortably at the hospital for undisclosed reasons and missed the event. We’re sure she’d have lit it up too.
4. STRANGEST CHOICE OF MOMENT: HEIDI KLUM
Wait, so she dresses like Big Bird’s stripper fantasy at the Emmys and then finds her inner Blake Lively for the VMAs? You’ve got that backward, Heidi.
5. MOST ALARMING OMEN: CHANCE THE RAPPER
Kanye West called him “the future.” If he’s right, then fire up your Pinterest boards, because the future is wearing overalls. At least … we’ll all be comfortable?
6. MOST OVERGROWN: TINASHE
There is a lot of extra fabric on this outfit, but we’re particularly concerned that the top might be on HGH. Friends don’t let friends’ clothes start doping.